A Song I Wrote

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

- Douglas Adams

For the record, this DOES NOT necessarily reflect my true feelings or opinions (although I do stand by some parts of it) - this is just me being deliberately cynical and offensive. Submitted for your approval:

FAITH

Buddha was a coward,
Jesus was a fraud
Moses was a tyrant
who served a tyrant god
Islam is imperial
spread by swords and pistols
Wicca's too ethereal
all gossamer and crystals
L. Ron Hubbard was a con-man
but everyone knows that
Alastair Crowley was
just an overprivelaged brat
Shinto's a religion that makes you wonder why
there was no divine wind over Hiroshima's sky
Hinduism can't explain, if we're all reincarnated
where'd we get these extra souls
that have us overpopulated?
Rastafarians are stoners
Asatru is uncouth
Tantra gives you boners,
but can it give you truth?
The Flying Spaghetti Monster's just a new kid on the block
If Gilgamesh was so great,
whatever happened to Iraq?
Unitarianism's pointless
Ba'hai is so banal
Lao Tzu was a nutcase
Confucius was anal
Zoroastrians see the world in shades of black and white
the Aztecs thought they had to kill
or there would be eternal night
atheists aren't freethinkers
to say there is no god
you first have to know what it is
isn't that a little odd?
A deist's just an atheist trying to cover his ass
agnostic is a cop-out
Santeria's full of gas
the ancient Greek religion discourages ambition
a Satanist is just
another type of Christian
Voodoo is from Haiti
where it hasn't done much good
Celtic paganism's
just dancing naked in the wood
Native American shamanism failed to prevent
the worst genocide in world history
I wonder where the Spirits went?
Inuit religion's depressing
Egyptians keep your heart in a jar
Sikhs keep me guessing at
just how many gods there are
the Australian Aborigines
see bunyips everywhere
Hare Krishna will shave off all your hair
I've spent my life a-seeking, I always fail to find
If you ask me why I have no faith
Because I blew it on Mankind!